Welcome to the Nut House: Saturday, January 15th-Part 2- When Finger Painting Goes Bad...

Jake started off by wanting to make a craft. It was innocent enough...glue, cutting paper, glitter glue, etc. Then, Liv got into it and created a craft. All is good, right? Jake apparently found the paints. He got his easel out, and wanted to use them, so I let him. We moved the easel to the dining room, and I let him go to town. Everything is still good...I started cooking dinner, and Jake and Liv decided to stick their fingers in the paint. I advised them it would be a good idea if they went and washed them. They did, but then came back and did it again, this time, all the way up their fingers. I was internally trying not to get pissed, knowing they needed to get alittle piss and vinegar out, so I said what the heck (yes, the biggest mistake I've made all day) and got out a large piece of paper and said, why don't you just get out what you have on your fingers onto the paper, then you can go wash your hands. Everything was going great, until Brett asked me to watch the TV because it was fuzzy and he was going to fix it. While sitting in the room, waiting for him to call, the kids were apparently going to town. By the time I came out of the bedroom, they not only had paint on themselves, but on their clothes, face, etc. And because I was so stunned at this, I yelled for Liv to go wash her hands. BIG MISTAKE. After sending her off to the bathroom, I then realized she had paint on her feet, and she'd made pretty little footsteps, ON THE CARPET, to the bathroom. At this point, Liv is trying to wash her hands, there's paint on the door, on the light switch, the counter and I am just spinning. Jake LITERALLY has paint up past his wrists (Thank you, Liv, for rubbing that in for him-I appreciate it) I said screw it, and told them both to strip. I put Liv in the shower, and was washing her up. I then hear Jake giggling. It's NEVER good if you hear Jake's cackle. You know he's done something that you probably don't want to see. I turn around, and Jake's eyes are wide, which means he's done something wrong. All the sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I catch green. Where, might you ask, did I see this green?? ON HIS PENIS! Yep, he took the green paint off his hands and decided his twig and berries needed to be painted. He then says, the paint is green. I'm just trying to camouflage it. Really, Jake? REALLY??? Seriously, I can't make this crap up. So, I said, you may as well paint your whole body while you're waiting, since you have to get in the shower anyway. He loved that lol.

So, after getting both kids cleaned up, I sent them both to their rooms. I figured that was the safest place for them to be, at that moment. Thankfully Brett had a steam cleaner, so he took care of the road to the bathroom, while I cleaned the dining room floor. Even though Jake's been washed head to toe, I swear that boy still looks green.