Saturday, March 31, 2012

Funny thing the kids say, March 2012

Here are some funny, memorable Facebook posts from March


Mar 1

Jake: Mom, you want to hear my thought?
Me: Sure.
Jake: It'll cost you a penny. My thoughts are a penny each.
*sigh* gotta give the dude credit for trying to capitalize on anything he can.

Mar 5

Jake: Mom, can I have a snack?
Me: Jake, no. Go to bed.
Jake: Mom, my hunger is at 86%. It has to be 90% before I can go to sleep!

Mar 10

Liv, on the way to the tea party, "Mom, sometimes, when I'm hungry and grown ups don't give me food, I eat my boogers. I know it's gross. I do it anyway." *sigh*

Mar 16
Josey: You know, something I don't get.
Why do people say "You want som fries with that shake?"
Me: It's when you shake your booty.
Josey: I don't get it. Why do they say that?
Me: Because fries and shakes go together. You know, fast food?
Josey: Why don't they just say, "You want some whip cream with that
shake?" That makes more sense.
Brett: Josey, you should stop dyeing your hair.

Mar 22

I bought Liv some Bella Sara cards (they have codes on them for her to get more horses on bellasara.com) I told her that the "Get Well Fairy" dropped them off. She opened the package and
noticed all the cards had codes. She squealed with delight, raised her cards, looked up, and yelled, "THANK YOU JESUS!" and kissed them LOL.

Mar 24

I bought Jake a few thermal sets (tops and bottoms). I had him wear the top to one of them today, because he was going to be hanging out with Brett at the shop and it was cold. We're getting ready to leave and I'm trying to do a few things, and Jake comes running to me and says, "Mom, I don't have to wear the thong bottoms because this shirt keeps me warm!" Me, terribly confused said, "What are... you talking about Jake?" Jake grabs his sweat pants and said, "The THONG BOTTOMS! This top blocks the wind so I will be warm enough." Me, finally figuring out what he's talking about, "Jake, you mean THERMAL bottoms?" Jake, "Yeah, yeah that. Whatever. I don't have to wear them." and he walked away. He's such a nut.

Mar 29

Liv has a toothbrush with the suction cup on the end. I went to go check on Jake in his room, and saw Liv, dancing in front of the mirror, new baseball helmet on and her toothbrush suctioned to the top, dancing in front of the mirror. What a weird kid...

Funny things the kids say February 2012

My kids say the funniest things. I decided I would post some of the funny things I've posted about them on Facebook from the last 2 months.

Feb 8
Liv this am while doing her hair: Mom, I don't know who I'm marrying (looking perplexed) I have 3 boys that keep askingme. Isaac, Peter, and Gage. I told Isaac I would marry him, but Peter says I should marry him. Isaac said he's going to ask Louanna if I say I'm going to marry Peter or
Gage. I don't want him to marry Louanna. I want him to marry me because he's cute, but I also think Gage and Peter are cute. I just don't know who to marry! (I swear she said this all in one breath) I told her she had plenty of time to worry about it and hold still so I could do her hair hahahaha.

Feb 11
I love that, when I ask Jake to go take out the garbage but get clothes on first, he puts just a coat on, thus going outside in his underwear and a heavy coat. Makes sense, right???

Feb 14
Deep Thoughts by Olivia Bulloss: Mom, did you know there are several ways to die? One is if you're old; also, if you get stabbed in the heart (thank you, Jake) or if you get stabbed in your brain (again, thank you, Jake) or if you get eaten by lions (Thank you, Animal Plant)
Oh, and don't forget if a robber robs your house. All of those things cause your soul to go to Heaven, and make them bury your body in there (points tocemetry as we drive by it). *sigh*

Feb 22
Jake kept banting a lego in the corner on the hardwood floor. I asked him to stop. He slammed it one more time on the ground, so I asked him nicely to hand me the lego and to go in his room. I
promptly threw the lego away. Jake asked me if I did and I said yes. He got in his room and yelled, "Brett! You married a wicked wife!" Good times.

Feb 23
Me: Hey Jake, guess how many people are
dead in that cemetary?
Jake: 300?
Me: Nope, all of them hahahahaha
Jake: Was it 100 then? Or 300? Was I right?
Me: Jake, don't you get it? Everyone is dead. It's a cemetary.
Jake: (confused) But I'm not there.
Me: Jake, if I have to explain it, it's not very funny.
Jake: This has me puzzled, Mom.
*sigh* I forget how literal he is...lol.

Feb 23
Liv, on marriage: Having a husband isn't that bad. He can go hunting for you

Feb 29
Last night, I was giving Jake a hug and talking to him and I said, "You know what? You're so stinkin' cute." Jake replies, "Don't forget entertaining!" hahahaha. Stinker.

March 27- Lite Brite!


Liv got a Lite Brite for Christmas from Grandma Terry and Grandpa Darrell. She got so much stuff for Christmas, that I put it up for a rainy day. Well, Spring Break was the best time. She loves it!

March 23 - The next Bob Harper???



Jake always asks to do my exercise DVD's. I usually don't let him use my weights because, well, they're weights! I gave in today and let him use the smaller of my weights (the 3lb ones). He put on the Jillian Michaels DVD and away he went. The funniest part was when he was trying to do squats. He just can.not.get.it. He kept bending forward (as you can see in the bottom pic) instead of squating. He totally cracks me up.

March 17 - Trouble in the Potty

So, there are no pictures with this story (once you read it, you'll understand why). I ran the kids with me to Redmond. We were going to run some errands before we met up with Hank. We ran into Fred Meyers. Literally, all I needed was one thing. I went back to the section to get the item I needed when Liv says, "Mom, I gotta poop." So, I haul her to the other side of the store (God forbid Fred Meyer has more than one potty). Jake askes to hang out in the electronics department. I say yes, thinking, we'll only be a few minutes. If I'd only known...Anyway, we get in the bathroom, and I let Liv go in the stall by herself. 5 minutes passes. 10 minutes. Liv's yelling from the potty, "I can't go!" over and over. I'm trying not to get irritated, but after 15 minutes, I finally yell thru the door, "Liv, if it hasn't come by now, it's not going to!" She asks for a few more minutes, which I begrudgingly give her. By this time, all the stalls are full. All the sudden Liv yells out, "Mom, this poop is REALLY big! I don't think I'm big enough to get it out! I think I need to be an adult!" All the stalls erupt with laughter. I'm torn between thinking it's the funniest thing I've ever heard and horrified. After 35 minutes (yes, you read that right) She was finally successful. I swear there's never a dull moment in my world. NEVER.

March 16 - Sleep Over!

The kids love to have "sleep overs" with each other. This night just happened to be Jake and Liv. They were in Liv's room, but apparently it got too hot in there. I heard noises in the kitchen. I came out, and they'd decided to sleep on the dining room floor because it was cooler (and by cooler I mean cold, not "cool" to do lol). I figured they'd get tired of it, or get cold and go back into Liv's room. Nope. They slept there all night.

March 15 - My Super Smart Science Fair Kids

Jake did his science fair project on "Which method of wrapping a sandwich is best?"
At first, when we walked in, there was only a participant ribbon on there. I made Jake pose with his finished project.
Then the Science Fair teacher came in to award the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place for 4th grade. They announced Jake as first place. I thought he was going to fall over. He was so happy.
Josey did her experiment on what type of bread digests the fastest. She won 2nd place! I made her pose with her ribbon. Let it be known that she posed under duress lol.

March 12- Cat in the Box, er, Dryer

I was doing laundry. I opened the dryer, and Banshee jumped in. I started throwing wet laundry on her, thinking she'd jump out. Nope, she stayed there, just like that, until I took her out. Truth be told, I think the poor cat was trying to tell me she wanted to be put out of her misery. If you saw the way Liv drags her and Pikachu around, you'd understand. When Liv is holding them, their eyes beg you "Kill me now", I swear it. Liv reminds me of that old looney tunes cartoon "I'm gonna love him, and squeeze him, and call him George" hahahaha.

March 11 - OMG A Lego ROLLED in my nose!!!

So, I'm sitting in the living room, and all the kids are in bed. Jake comes flying out of his room, yelling, "You have to take me to the hospital, NOW!". I looked at him and said, "What's wrong?" He said, "I was laying on the floor, and rolled over, and somehow, a lego rolled all the way up my nose, and now it's stuck!!" (he's been having an obsession about sleeping on the floor). At first I thought he was lying. I couldn't see anything. He's FREAKING out. Brett and I are trying to get him to blow out. Nothing's happening. I told Jake to relax and stop panicking. We got a flash light out. Just as we're getting ready to shine the light in his nose, he does one last big blow, and the lego goes flying out across the floor. After telling him over and over, you know, a lego can not "roll" inside your nose. You had to have put it there. It just doesn't happen like that, he finally told me the truth. He put it in, then tried to get it out, and pushed it further. Seriously...The kid is almost 10. What goes thru their heads that makes sticking a lego in their nose OK?

March 6 - You really shouldn't color on the carpet...

Scrub it, Liv!
It's coming up slowly but surely.
Scrubbing her door
So, Liv was home sick today. She was on her second day of being home. Besides her horrible cough, she was feeling great. So great, in fact, that while I was dropping Jake off at piano (Josey was home 'watching' her) that she thought it would ge a fantastic idea to color on the carpet. And not just a small area, either. So, guess who cleaned it up? And what else did I notice? She had taken her yellow crayon to her door! GAH! What is wrong with this child?

Friday, March 23, 2012

March 6th-You put what, on the where?




March 4th-GACK!

Jake made gack at school. Slime, whatever you want to call it. I was sitting at the table, and I turn and see this face. He's so dead-pan. That's what cracks me up the most. He's a funny kid...

Sunday, March 18, 2012

March 4th-You've been slimed!!!

Jake made slime in school. He thought it'd be funny to put it on his nose and let it drip down. He's a pretty funny kid.










February 29th-Crazy Hair Day

It was school spirit week at CCCS. I put Liv's hair in a bunch of pony tails then decided to braid it. I think it turned out rather cute, if I do say so myself!







Sunday, March 11, 2012

February 27: Ballerina Girl

Finally made it for observation day!!! They only have them a few times and I've managed to miss them all because I forget or Liv's been sick. She absolutely loves ballet, however, she's not extremely coordinated (I'm afraid she gets that from me). Seriously though, what a cute kid. How did I get so lucky?



















February 25th-Cowboy Dinner Tree!!

We decided to take a trip to the Cowboy Dinner Tree with my friend Ellen, her hubby Chris, their 2 kids, Bryan and Mike, plus our friends Steffy and Pepper, and one of their sons, Sawyer. Ellen has a bohemoth RV, so we all rode down there in that. Now, if you're going to take a 3 hour drive, just to eat dinner somewhere, this is the way to go. The kids were free to roam. They played games, watched movies, ate, and had a great time. We adults were able to sit back and relax while Ellen's hubby Chris drove. We had a great time. Food was great, the people were great, the company was great. Just wish the roads were better. Ended up having to take the long way home due to that craptacular roads in LaPine.

Jake, setting up checkers for he and Pepper to play.

The roads were quite dicey. Glad to have a sheriff driving!


Jake found the closet. It was quiet, so he decided it was a nice place to play his DS in peace.


Sawyer and Liv (who are in pre-school together) sat and watched movies (once they all calmed down from the sugar hype Ellen provided them with-chocolate)




And we arrived! It was soooooooooooo cold. The kids wanted to play more outside, but not even they could handle it.


Brrrr Mom!


That's my girl-Bellied up to the bar. hahahaha.


Jake and Mike



Part of the crew-Mike, Todd (Chris's brother) jake, Brett, Ellen (taking a pic of Pepper taking this pic) Liv, and Sawyer.


And, after a long day, the kids passed out. Jake fell asleep in the bathroom, on the floor. Poor kid got a bad headache (probably from the cold air).


Liv and Sawyer got the best deal running-the queen bed.



February 22nd: I Will Master the Internet....

Jake's school has the book mobile come once a month so the kids can check out books. They have a library at school, but not as diverse as the public school. So, he comes home with 3 books: A chapter book, a garfield book, and The Internet for Dummies. Funny thing is, he actually sat down and read some of it. Well, he said the first few chapters. Then he said he got bored hahaahhaa. That Friday, he checked out a Family Medical book from the school library. Why, you ask? Because his chest hurt from his cold and he wanted to know what was causing it. Maybe I have a future Internet Doctor on my hands??? HAHAHAHAHA.



Sunday, February 19, 2012

February 16th-But I'm almost to my favorite part!

So, we're at basketball. Jake won't quit biting his nails. I yelled Jake's name and motioned for him to get his finger out of his mouth. From the court he yells, "But I'm almost to my favorite part! " sigh... (these pictures were taken that night by my friend Brook)







In a Go-Gurt Induced Coma...

Apparently eating go-gurts causes one to pass out, in their undies, in front of the heater. Who knew??



February 12th - A Valentine's Treat

February 12th - A Valentine's Treat

So, now that Jake is almost 10, Josey is almost 14, Liv is my final child that I can actuallly do fun crafty things for, and she thinks I'm a totally cool Mom (and not lame like Jake or Josey would think). I made heart crayons for Liv's class for Valentine's Day. I think they turned out pretty cute.



February 11th - A Fine Place To Play His DS...

Jake was in rest the other night. I came around the corner to tell him to put his DS up and go to bed, and this is what I saw:

Yep, he's sitting in a tote, playing his DS. He has it plugged in to the wall so he could charge it while he's playing, plus, the heater is right there. He sure is a funny kid...

February 10th - Prineville Follies

Every year, the CCCS sings a song or two in the Prineville Follies. Last year, Jake was at his father's, so he didn't get to participate. So, off we went this year. While we waited for Jake and the 4th-8th graders, we listened to some of Prineville's finest. Prineville has some real talent out there! Liv was in heaven. She sat, wiggling her hinney to the music, a smile from ear to ear. One of the 2nd graders sang "Jesus Loves Me" and Liv signed the WHOLE song while she sang. Thank you, Mrs Wendel, for teaching my children sign. That's just something you don't get anymore. Liv really loves it. I could tell Jake was nervous, because when their turn finally came up, he was wiping the sides of his mouth over and over and over and over (it's his nervous habit)


4th thru 8th (Josey was sick, so she wasn't there) and there's Jake, wiping his mouth lol










February 8th - Well, at least it wasn't his hair this time...


So, one day we're in the car, on the way home from school, and Jake says from the backseat, "Mom, can I cut my eyebrows?" I said, "NO! Why do you want to cut them?" He replied something along the lines of, "Because they're too long" or something like that. I told him there was no reason for it, and I'd better not catch him doing it. Fast forward to the next day. It somehow came out that Jake HAD cut his eyebrow. Upon further investigation, it was deduced that he indeed had. I asked when it happened, to which he replied that he'd done it BEFORE he'd even asked me about it in the car. I was torn between being mad and internally cracking up because he tattles on himself constantly. I love that he does, but sometimes, some things are better left not said. I wouldn't have even noticed had he not said anything. He surely didn't get that from me, because it took a LOT for me to cough stuff up when I was little lol.











Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Conversations with Liv...



So, I had the funniest conversations with Liv today. I think she does her best thinking in the bathroom, because it seems as if that's where the best conversations take place. Case in point, this am, the following conversation happened:

(from the bathroom)
Liv: Mom, does my waist hold my pee?
Me: No, your bladder does.
Liv: What's a bladder?
Me: a sac that your kidneys drain into that deposits urine.
Liv: Well, I know my stomach holds a baby.
Me: Well, no. Your uterus does.
Liv: What's a uterus?
Me: It's a sac that holds the baby
Liv: I'm confused.
Me: me, too Liv, me too

(again, from the bathroom, lunchtime)
Liv yelled from the bathroom, "Mom, did you know my stomach was all the way full, but now, since I'm pooping, I can finish my lunch because there'll be room now. Isn't that nice of my stomach?

(Still from the bathroom)
Liv: Mom, did you know Jesus is in your heart?
Me (trying to work) Yep.
Liv: Is he in your heart?
Me: Yep, he is.
Liv: Hmmm, I didn't know that. Is he in everyone's hearts?
Me: Only those who believe in Him.
Liv: Why would people not believe in Jesus?
Me: (damn her and her hard questions) I don't know sweetie, some believe in other things.
Liv: (thank GOD changed her train of thought) Well, I'm in pre-school now. Now I know a LOT about Jesus. I don't think they can teach me anymore cause I know it all. (spoken from a true child lol)

(In the car)
Liv: Mom, I'm going to start calling you Smiley Face.
Me: Why?
Liv: Cause you're always smiling. And you can call me happy because I'm always happy.

This was just today. I'm sure there was more. What a funny girl!






Monday, January 30, 2012

He didn't get it from me...

His fashion sense, that is.

I told the kids to go get dressed (yeah, it was noon and they were still in their jammies) and they could go outside and play before it got crappy outside. Jake comes back with: A green Oregon Ducks shirt, khaki brown shorts, and white socks with black stripes. Not quite what I had in mind, but it full filled what I asked him to do. This is EXACTLY why, at 9 years old, I still lay his clothes out. And thank GOD he still allows me to)



January 25, 2012 - Ice Skating Part Deux

The Christian school had the 2nd run of ice skating (they break it up into 2 groups-4 thru 6, and 7/8th grade) This was Josey's last year doing it (since they don't have enough kids to run high school). I drove Josey and her friend Corenne, because, you know, God FORBID we ride the school bus *shudder* We got there and, within 20 minutes, the girls were jonesin' to leave. I told them they had to stay at least an hour AND they had to get permission to leave early from the principal. I had a good time. Not sure if the girls did. I think they were bored (and out of shape-they were tired after 20 minutes-I did circles around them lol)

Hand in hand...

Tired, bored, watchful...



Smile!


the girls.