Saturday, March 31, 2012

Funny thing the kids say, March 2012

Here are some funny, memorable Facebook posts from March

Mar 1

Jake: Mom, you want to hear my thought?
Me: Sure.
Jake: It'll cost you a penny. My thoughts are a penny each.
*sigh* gotta give the dude credit for trying to capitalize on anything he can.

Mar 5

Jake: Mom, can I have a snack?
Me: Jake, no. Go to bed.
Jake: Mom, my hunger is at 86%. It has to be 90% before I can go to sleep!

Mar 10

Liv, on the way to the tea party, "Mom, sometimes, when I'm hungry and grown ups don't give me food, I eat my boogers. I know it's gross. I do it anyway." *sigh*

Mar 16
Josey: You know, something I don't get.
Why do people say "You want som fries with that shake?"
Me: It's when you shake your booty.
Josey: I don't get it. Why do they say that?
Me: Because fries and shakes go together. You know, fast food?
Josey: Why don't they just say, "You want some whip cream with that
shake?" That makes more sense.
Brett: Josey, you should stop dyeing your hair.

Mar 22

I bought Liv some Bella Sara cards (they have codes on them for her to get more horses on I told her that the "Get Well Fairy" dropped them off. She opened the package and
noticed all the cards had codes. She squealed with delight, raised her cards, looked up, and yelled, "THANK YOU JESUS!" and kissed them LOL.

Mar 24

I bought Jake a few thermal sets (tops and bottoms). I had him wear the top to one of them today, because he was going to be hanging out with Brett at the shop and it was cold. We're getting ready to leave and I'm trying to do a few things, and Jake comes running to me and says, "Mom, I don't have to wear the thong bottoms because this shirt keeps me warm!" Me, terribly confused said, "What are... you talking about Jake?" Jake grabs his sweat pants and said, "The THONG BOTTOMS! This top blocks the wind so I will be warm enough." Me, finally figuring out what he's talking about, "Jake, you mean THERMAL bottoms?" Jake, "Yeah, yeah that. Whatever. I don't have to wear them." and he walked away. He's such a nut.

Mar 29

Liv has a toothbrush with the suction cup on the end. I went to go check on Jake in his room, and saw Liv, dancing in front of the mirror, new baseball helmet on and her toothbrush suctioned to the top, dancing in front of the mirror. What a weird kid...

Funny things the kids say February 2012

My kids say the funniest things. I decided I would post some of the funny things I've posted about them on Facebook from the last 2 months.

Feb 8
Liv this am while doing her hair: Mom, I don't know who I'm marrying (looking perplexed) I have 3 boys that keep askingme. Isaac, Peter, and Gage. I told Isaac I would marry him, but Peter says I should marry him. Isaac said he's going to ask Louanna if I say I'm going to marry Peter or
Gage. I don't want him to marry Louanna. I want him to marry me because he's cute, but I also think Gage and Peter are cute. I just don't know who to marry! (I swear she said this all in one breath) I told her she had plenty of time to worry about it and hold still so I could do her hair hahahaha.

Feb 11
I love that, when I ask Jake to go take out the garbage but get clothes on first, he puts just a coat on, thus going outside in his underwear and a heavy coat. Makes sense, right???

Feb 14
Deep Thoughts by Olivia Bulloss: Mom, did you know there are several ways to die? One is if you're old; also, if you get stabbed in the heart (thank you, Jake) or if you get stabbed in your brain (again, thank you, Jake) or if you get eaten by lions (Thank you, Animal Plant)
Oh, and don't forget if a robber robs your house. All of those things cause your soul to go to Heaven, and make them bury your body in there (points tocemetry as we drive by it). *sigh*

Feb 22
Jake kept banting a lego in the corner on the hardwood floor. I asked him to stop. He slammed it one more time on the ground, so I asked him nicely to hand me the lego and to go in his room. I
promptly threw the lego away. Jake asked me if I did and I said yes. He got in his room and yelled, "Brett! You married a wicked wife!" Good times.

Feb 23
Me: Hey Jake, guess how many people are
dead in that cemetary?
Jake: 300?
Me: Nope, all of them hahahahaha
Jake: Was it 100 then? Or 300? Was I right?
Me: Jake, don't you get it? Everyone is dead. It's a cemetary.
Jake: (confused) But I'm not there.
Me: Jake, if I have to explain it, it's not very funny.
Jake: This has me puzzled, Mom.
*sigh* I forget how literal he

Feb 23
Liv, on marriage: Having a husband isn't that bad. He can go hunting for you

Feb 29
Last night, I was giving Jake a hug and talking to him and I said, "You know what? You're so stinkin' cute." Jake replies, "Don't forget entertaining!" hahahaha. Stinker.

March 27- Lite Brite!

Liv got a Lite Brite for Christmas from Grandma Terry and Grandpa Darrell. She got so much stuff for Christmas, that I put it up for a rainy day. Well, Spring Break was the best time. She loves it!

March 23 - The next Bob Harper???

Jake always asks to do my exercise DVD's. I usually don't let him use my weights because, well, they're weights! I gave in today and let him use the smaller of my weights (the 3lb ones). He put on the Jillian Michaels DVD and away he went. The funniest part was when he was trying to do squats. He just He kept bending forward (as you can see in the bottom pic) instead of squating. He totally cracks me up.

March 17 - Trouble in the Potty

So, there are no pictures with this story (once you read it, you'll understand why). I ran the kids with me to Redmond. We were going to run some errands before we met up with Hank. We ran into Fred Meyers. Literally, all I needed was one thing. I went back to the section to get the item I needed when Liv says, "Mom, I gotta poop." So, I haul her to the other side of the store (God forbid Fred Meyer has more than one potty). Jake askes to hang out in the electronics department. I say yes, thinking, we'll only be a few minutes. If I'd only known...Anyway, we get in the bathroom, and I let Liv go in the stall by herself. 5 minutes passes. 10 minutes. Liv's yelling from the potty, "I can't go!" over and over. I'm trying not to get irritated, but after 15 minutes, I finally yell thru the door, "Liv, if it hasn't come by now, it's not going to!" She asks for a few more minutes, which I begrudgingly give her. By this time, all the stalls are full. All the sudden Liv yells out, "Mom, this poop is REALLY big! I don't think I'm big enough to get it out! I think I need to be an adult!" All the stalls erupt with laughter. I'm torn between thinking it's the funniest thing I've ever heard and horrified. After 35 minutes (yes, you read that right) She was finally successful. I swear there's never a dull moment in my world. NEVER.

March 16 - Sleep Over!

The kids love to have "sleep overs" with each other. This night just happened to be Jake and Liv. They were in Liv's room, but apparently it got too hot in there. I heard noises in the kitchen. I came out, and they'd decided to sleep on the dining room floor because it was cooler (and by cooler I mean cold, not "cool" to do lol). I figured they'd get tired of it, or get cold and go back into Liv's room. Nope. They slept there all night.

March 15 - My Super Smart Science Fair Kids

Jake did his science fair project on "Which method of wrapping a sandwich is best?"
At first, when we walked in, there was only a participant ribbon on there. I made Jake pose with his finished project.
Then the Science Fair teacher came in to award the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place for 4th grade. They announced Jake as first place. I thought he was going to fall over. He was so happy.
Josey did her experiment on what type of bread digests the fastest. She won 2nd place! I made her pose with her ribbon. Let it be known that she posed under duress lol.